December 31, 2008

Hio!

Well familyface! Swell hearing from ye! Ummm... I am clean outta things to say! I said everything Thursday! But lets see...You heard all I did and experienced up to Thursday, which was Christmas, and now Im gonna tell you da rest of da week!
Friday we saved our possibilities for baptism. That was basically the whole day.
Then Saturday we spent all day filling up the baptism font and doing more interviews. Then we had our baptisms. Then after there was supposabely a talent show... which didnt work. We ended up practising for two hours before and doing all five numbers! One of which was my Nauvoo Audition show that we did on the Mississippi river in SPANISH! They laughed their heads off! My side hurts from falling so much!
Anywho... twas an insane week! I had some crazy things happen. Our investigador that was ready to get baptized isnt gonna do it cause her lover wont leave the house and on top of that... she likes my comp. Hes not flirt or anything, so its really weird. So now we are in a huge jumble. We want her baptized, she wants us to leave her be a few days, and we all want her boyfriend to go. Yeah, fun.
So then Sunday was Sunday and today we had to go to MANAGUA for another leaders meeting. I AM SO TIRED! I woke up at 3 thirty and its a three hour ride to Managua and a half hour to the chapel in taxi.
So I just got back twenty minutes ago and IM TIRED! I wanna sleep!
But Im happy.
Ummm... I will talk to you later. Im really pooped! I still gotta send numbers cause we have had no time today.
Sorry its short!
LOVE YOU ALL!

E. Johnson
Elder Johnson
Nicaragua, Managua Mission

December 22, 2008

Wowsers! This may be one of the craziest emails you've received, next to the email about Sauceda screwing around. Actually, maybe not, maybe I just think it will be. hehe! Ummmm... where to begin?
I HAD CHANGES!
Thats good and bad. Im really gonna miss my old zone.... LEON WAS SO KEWL! TEARS OF SADNESS! And my kewl chileno comp. I MISS YOU MIRANDA! And Elder HADDOCK! NOOOOOO!
But the good news is I got transferred to the only COLD area in Nicaragua!!!!! And its one of the only areas with a HOT SHOWER! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!!! A HOT SHOWER! Thats the first time in ONE YEAR! Im so happy!!!!
My new area is called Esteli. Its cold. Wow, I never thought it could get so cold in Nicaragua. But thats just one of the things that has happened...
We have been traveling like crazy this week. Monday, in Leon, we had a kewl Pday, last as a zone, and Tuesday we traveled to changes! That night I was called to Esteli with Elder Toro, from Peru, as comp. (He was in my district in that blasted situation last year in Tipitapa! This is the second christmas Im gonna spend with him!) Then we got on a bus and traveled 3 long blasted hours to Esteli... and I froze my bum off.
Then I woke up the next day and had a huge back pain in my lower right backside! It made it hard to move and walk and I couldnt breath. I worked anyway, the best I could, till I couldnt anymore. Then I asked the elders to give me a blessing, which they did, and I took some pain pills. I felt slightly better. Then Thursday we drove to the Christmas Conference! (on the way we saw a huge drug bust on the side of the rode! The guy had like 500,000 dollars in drugs dude! It was all over the road in little packages! It was nuts! Lots of police) The Christmas Conference was kewl. Check out the mission page, theres some kewl videos made by my dear ole comp E. Bean there! TUANIS!
GRANDMA AND GRANDPA! I received your package! Thank you! It made me and my zone of ten VERY happy!
LOVE YOU!
Then Friday and Saturday we bussed like crazy all day to far away areas in our zone to help our baptism possibilities. Then Saturday and Sunday Pres. Fraatz showed up for a district conference and macheted our members. Twas kewl.
And today we pdayed! MAN! Now that you know my week, how was yours?
Wait... you already told me.
This Thursday you are going to call me at 930-3399 at 7 pm my time. Dunno, I think you guys are like one hour ahead. And I dont know the time change. But if worst comes to worst, I'll try to call you again. Just do your best. I will be waiting! Try having Chandler and Aaron there too to talk to them a little bit! If its possible. And Thomas too if possible. And every member of my loving family of course! I just miss you all I WANNA TALK TO YOU!!!!!
How trunky!?
Nicks not gonna get the chance to call you, right? Que chupasa.
E. Haddock is training in the area next to my old area in Managua. I miss him already!
Just heads up... my money situation is getting rough. The thing is Im so far away from everything I have to pay a good 50 cordobas every time I go on a bus here. Its only like 3 bucks and happens like four times a week but its gonna add up. Plus that I had to pay for everyones ride to Managua for the conference like the loving ZL I am cause everyone here is a chambone and say they are broke and promised me they would pay me as soon as possible. I hate being white.
But Im being really pinchy these days. Im spending the least possible I promise! But soon I may have to buy some new shirts and garments and pants cause Im running out of good ones.
LOVE YOU ALL!
Man... I miss you guys.
Mom, I hate opera too.
CHANDLER MADE CALLBACKS!!! He is so going to NAuvoo! Just breath Chandler! DEEP! ITs gonna be so kewl! Just, when you go there, talk to everyone! Be like the kewl guy, thats humble, that wants to be friends with everyone. And make a connection with those in charge. Let my dad pick the song you are gonna sing! And dont worry bout the dance! Its easy. Just dont flirt too much in auditions, like I know you will stud! Remember that you are trying out to be a missionary so you gotta be spiritual too. MAN! IM gonna fast so you will make it!!!!
NAUVOOOOO I MISS YOUUUU!!!!
Congrats Chandler.
I will here from you all Thursday!!!
I LOVE YOU!

Elder Johnson!

Elder Johnson
Nicaragua, Managua Mission

December 15, 2008

Hey, una pregunta...
Are you planning on sending the same letter to both ick and me when he is in the mish? Not that that would bug me... I would actually think its kewl. Just wondering.
You guys were really busy. I remember being that busy. The difference between then and now is then I was busy for my own benefit, now Im responsibly busy for the benefit of others. Thats awesome!!!!
Congrats to nick and nolan and the others for their EAGLES. I love you Grandma and Grandpa!!!!
YOU WENT TO JESTERZ!!!! Ive totally been there! I went on a date there with Arielle and others! Twas awesome. Thomas would fit in there! I might try out too!
I miss my SIS! Im positive shes perrty.... Growl!
I love Tim´s gift! Did Nick get duck tape!? Yeah, I said duck. Like pato! DUCK! QUACK!
I never got a tie..... TEARS!
Tis ok.
MOM! Why did you talk about good food! IM GONNA CRY! I totally miss my freedom and opportunity to eat what I want when I want and how much I want!!!! YUM!
Stinkin rice and beans.
Im not grumpy.
SMILE!
YaY PACKaGE!
I have had one baptism last week and two this last saturday. YAY! We are slightly doing better.
Now my turn to talk!
This last week we worked.
Thats it!...

JUST KIDDING!
hehe!
We are gonna have changes supuestamente this week but we dunno yet. We are supposed to have them. But the prob is we havent had interviews yet. Wierd.
So we dunno!
This week we have our Christmas activity too! Its gonna rock!
I have been spending every thursday and monday morning trying to teach latinos to sing two hymns! And I pulled it off. Thank you God for miracles!
I ate pizza and evil fruitcake (I hate fruitcake) and got sick and had stomach problems all week! Twas an adventure!!!!
Then Thursday we went to The Paz Centro, E. Haddocks area, and sang in the park. We really didnt get much success. But I did talk to E. Haddock the entire time! We played an outloud version of an old computer rpg game! I was the main character and E. Haddock was the computer. I ended up killing ozzie osbourne and impressing my girlfriends dad. Weird game.
How do you spell wierd!? Or weird!?

Anywho.

LOVE YOU! Till next week!

HUG NICK FOR ME!!!!!
Thanks for the pics. Please send more....


E. Nate Johnsonface!

Elder Johnson
Nicaragua, Managua Mission

December 8, 2008

So Urope was fun no? I know, I wrote it wrong. DEAL WITH IT! Tee hee!
I dunno, I dont believe in Mozart. Nor in Urope. I really dont have much a desire to visit Urope. Unless I had cream soda. Then I would. Im glad you had fun though!

My week was NUTS! They had the Purisima yesterday. It was fun... There were explosions and sounds and catholics and lots of other stuff! It was CRAZY! Satan wins here. There is so much apostasy, made me cry. What they do is they go house to house singing to a statue of Mary and the owners of the house gives them candy. Its like an apostate version of haloween! Wee! I still got candy. My comp hugged a drunk version of Jack Sparrow and he gave us candy. Twas snazzi.

I didnt get to see the Christmas devotional because of minor setbacks of missing investigadors that were supposed to go with us but didnt show up. Yeah. Too bad.
So I stayed in the explosions and it was like HECK! Twas Armageddon at midnight. I slept through it. My comp didnt.

How is it that he is already leaving! AND I WONT SEE HIM FOR TWO MORE YEARS! I dunno how Im gonna last boy.

Money... yes. I know. I have been spending a ridiculous amount. Im gonna be a bad spender in real life, I hope I can learn to control myself better. Honestly Im trying. Just sometimes there are things I want and other times there are things I need and other times there isnt anything in our mission bank account so I have to go to the emergency account. Thats why its nearly empty. But I will get better.
The burgers suck here. Honestly. hehe!

NO CREAM SODA!!!! AHHHHHH! Thats ok. You did your best... Tears on face.
HEhe! I got the cookie thing. Dunno if we can pull it off, but we shall try!
Yeah. So life is good. We finally baptized and I aint so depressed now. Im loving life again and have decided just to be my old crazy out of mind self. It works.
I love you all and hope all is well! Im good and happy!

Con amor,
Elder Johnson
Elder Johnson
Nicaragua, Managua Mission

November 24, 2008

Family!

Here I am, working hard and sweating harder! Thanksgiving is coming and passing, wee!!!! And I am already thinking of Christmas. We have set up our christmas light in our little room. They have been sitting there for a few years and every companionship around december sets them up.
I
m trying to write this but theres an annoying greengo missionary that keeps asking me stupid questions and he WONT SHOVE IT! Tee hee! Im sorry. I cant think!!!
Nick is 19.... Im old.
Nolan sent in his what!?!?!?!? MISSION PAPERS!!!! What!?!?! When is he leaving!? What the crap!? Im really really old....
I miss golf...
Tyson is going to Canada!? Speaking mandarin? How does that work out?! Im lost.
I love the pictures. Shaylene looks SUPER different!!!! Love her!
Nick looks happy.
Chandler looks old.
I did get your letter.
The leader thing is killing me but its ok. I already know all that stuff but things dont work that way here. EVERYONE machetes to machete. One of the assistents calls me to machete me and tells me to machete my zone and then the other assistent calls me later that night saying Im doing a good job and tells me to animate my zone and not machete them. I get lost and confused but here I am, still workin and still worrying. Thats life in the mission.
I bought a ring this week. Well, I actually had it made. Its kewl. Ill show you some time.
I finally did a full 24 hour divisions with Elder Haddock and we kicked trash! I loved that day!!!! I was so happy and we were on fire. Lemme tell you what happened...
We were working hard all day visiting my investigadors and we were doing interviews for his district and we ran out of time! We had a half hour to look for new people to teach. So I said, elder haddock, we need to find newbies. He said, ok. So we went contacting. I went to a street that I knew of and we found and old investigador that we had taught before and he told us about an inactive member that lived on his street. We visited him and he didnt want to talk to us so he said, I gotta go but you can talk to my family! So we talked to them. There were four of them. So Elder Haddock said, lets put baptism dates on all of them. So he did.
We talked to them for five minutes inviting them to church, not even teaching them, and E. Haddock put a date on all of them. It was amazing.
Well, this greengo kid is still bugging me. CURSE HIM!
What more can I say!? Im doing good. Im happy, though stressed, but I deal with it.
Well, heres a pic I got of me all christmasy!
MOM, send me a christmas cookie recipe and a christmas cookie frosting recipe. We are planning on doing an activity with the zone.

LOVE YOU!

Elder Johnson

Elder Johnson
Nicaragua, Managua Mission

November 10, 2008

Sorry to say I havent received anything from you all today. The Nica computers suck I suppose. Im happy though....

We had changes. My comp E. Martinez got bumped up to AP and I got E. Miranda as my new comp. He's awesome, he's from Chile. Love him. But now the zone is on MY SHOULDERS! Which is not kewl. Im dying here.

Yesterday we woke up at five to gather our batallion of investigador bringing members that help us with church. Twas kewl. Then the APs called saying everyone had to go home after church cause the elections were nuts and people were dangerous outside. So we stayed inside. Then I got sick from stress....Then they called us again late like at 9 and said we had to bring the cell phones of the whole zone to our house cause we had to got to managua the next day and be there by 8. We did, I was sick, and Monday we woke up at 4....The president kept trying to chew us out but I didnt understand anything he said cause my brain wasnt working... it still isnt.

So I finished your package and I still havent sent it cause today was nuts and we didnt have time. Maybe sometime this week...

I gotta go. My brain isnt at liberty to write a lot. Sorry family. I know this is the crappiest letter youve received but what can I do. Im blasted sick right now....
Love you....

Elder Johnson

PS.... pray for me. These next few changes are either gonna kill me or help me grow.... maybe the two.
Elder Johnson
Nicaragua, Managua Mission

November 3, 2008

The Christmas package is ready.... it only lacks one thing, my voice recorded tape to you all. The thing is, I have had it on my to-do list... but every night I get home DEAD tired and look at it and go, tomorrow I guess Ill do it. So Im hoping to get it done before next monday so it can get to you before nick leaves.

HE GETS TO USE A BIKE!? Man.... you are blessed.

Yes, time is flying by. Today we completed 13 months. I said we cause Elder Haddock is next to me.... kewl. NO! I will not be trunky. Thats silly.

AZ is getting to have five temples..... Poor Nicas. Tis cause they dont pay their tithing nor go to church. Yeah, we are working on that.

You guys can read the book of mormon in three weeks if you try hard enough. I did it!

Shaylene...... she just needs to wait till she gets my letter in the Christmas package. I hope it does the trick. Give her advice from me. 1- Boys are stupid. Especially if they arent mormon, they are more stupid. 2- Everyone is stuck up, not just mormon people. Look at your friends and you will see they are making fun of the mormons more than the mormons make fun of your friends. 3- Do LIGHT for yourself, not cause everyone else does it. You are blessed with a goldfull of talents and if you dont use them, I will cry. Everything will be fine with her. Just have her wait for 11 more months. We will resolve everything when I get back.

Elections... Im scared about going home in a year. I dont want either to win. They both are liars to me. hehe! Im not excited about goin home to a communist country. yikers. The elections are goin on here too. It aint all that great either. Rather stupid really.

Yes Im having fun and success and what not. No, my comp still doesnt let me teach much. Luis never came back.

I need boots but I dunno if you wanna send it to me. Id rather receive cheese its and cream soda. I can handle the bootlessness. I dont trust shoes anymore. Im pretty positive that I will just wallow in broken boots cause there arent any that will stay alive more than two changes.

Love you all! Keep on smiling and being happy! Im good and snazzi!