First Letter from Nicaragua

Subject: Re: Letter from HOME
From: "Nathanial Johnson"
To: bertjohnson@cox.net
Date: Mon, 10 Dec 2007 21:32:07 +0000

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

I don’t even know where to stinking start. Lets start with this.... it has been an insanely tiring, exciting, freaky, weird, confusing, and out of the ordinary week.

We left the MTC Wednesday, waking up at 2 am, and flew from Utah to Chicago. The Utah flight was delayed and then the flight from Chicago to Miami was delayed. We missed our flight to Nicaragua by literally like 2 minutes. It stunk.

So we called the MTC and they called the Miami mission president and we stayed there for the night, which was pretty kewl. We ended up leaving the next morning at 7, got on the plane around 11ish and flew to Nicaragua. Walking onto that plane was the weirdest thing in my life! I sat next to some crazy Nicaraguan girl that spent most of her life in Miami and kept telling me how I was going to get robbed and stuff. Yeah. But she did give me gum! Hehe!

Anyways, we got off the plane and went through a billion checkouts and junk and then we met the President and the office elders and ate lunch with them at some fancy Italian restaurant. Normal so far. Mostly.

Nicaragua is going through a lot of political stuff right now. Along with that there are a lot of people who are missing arms and legs and stuff and are poor because of the civil war they had twentyish years ago. Its pretty sad.

The office elders dropped off the other three elders in my group onto buses to travel to their assigned areas, after we had interviews with the Pres. Then I went with the office elders to eat dinner at some lady’s house, which was snazzi. We ate, can you guess... rice and beans. And chicken. Yeah. Woot!

Then they drove me to my house... actually its more like a room... and I met Elder Sauceda, from Honduras. He is super kewl. He only speaks Spanish so I have to listen really hard to understand. Yeah.

Our house is about the size of Nevins room. There is no running water. We have a small fridge that barely works. I have to take a shower by dumping cold water on my head with a bucket. Eeeek! And......... there are chickens in the backyard. AH!

Its been fun though! I’m having a blast. At times I miss the normality of AZ, compared to here anyway, but its snazzi.

Friday I woke up early with Elder Sauceda and we went to teach some lady who was to be baptized the next day. We had a whole lesson, I only taught a little bit, but it turns out her baptism fell through. She couldn’t be baptized because she had a lot of kids and wasn’t married, or something like that. Its nearly impossible to understand what is going on when you don’t speak Spanish. AH!

However... on the bright side, I have some friends! Later on in the night on Friday we visited, I think his name is Hermano Meneses... or Barrio Mitch?... I dunno. Anyways, he is really poor and lives in a house made of stone, without a roof... but he has three little kids who are my new best friends. The oldest is ten. I think her name is Jennifer. The second is seven, named Gloria. And the son is named Juan. He is super kewl. They are probably the only people I understand, other than Elder Sauceda. They help me learn Spanish and I help them learn English. Oh yeah! I’m helping teach English lessons in the church! Its super fun.

The area I am in is called Tipitapa. Its the most dangerous and poorest area in Nicaragua. This week they have been having a celebrating about the virgin Mary, which is really annoying to the members... and me. There are fireworks going off like every two seconds. Firecrackers, fireworks, gunshots... ack! And lots of drunk people. I’ve talked to three so far, who think they know English. Its ridiculous.

So I am only one of two Elders in Tipitapa that are from the US. Everyone else is Latino.

As for the food, its ok. Elder Sauceda was surprised. He said I am learning quick and speak better Spanish and understand better than his other companions. Even though I really have barely any idea what is going on most of the time. Its really hard when someone asks me questions. Oh yeah! The food.... um, they have weird bananas here. Its not like ours. They taste nasty, the texture is really gross, but its pretty good when its cooked. They dry it too. Ew. Lots of rice and beans. Chicken. Elder Sauceda said they also have iguana and horse and cat and stuff, but I haven’t eaten that yet. I hope not to....

I haven’t done any service projects yet. People are really busy with their Mary Holiday, I think it is called Policimo. I dunno.

I barely catch the names of anything around here. The kids here are either really nice or really annoying. Most of them are nice. But the mean ones call you names. I don’t remember how to say it, whatever.

The office elders said that I looked like a mooso, which is Spanish is flirt. Ha! I laughed. Ya gotta be careful around here though. The girls love white people. Everyone on the street looks at me as I walk by... yeesh! Its nuts. The men are either really nice or really mean too. Its kinda how the whole country is. Really poor or really rich. Really nice or really mean. No middle ground.

Elder Sauceda was telling me about his last companion he was training, Elder Dahl. He said he was really racist and used to call him offensive names. That ticked me off when I heard it, fo sho. He said Elder Dahl used to complain a lot and run off without him and flirt with the girls and even cut himself. The president sent him home after three weeks. Elder Sauceda said he was really glad to find out I was normal. Ha! Ha! Normal. That’s funny. At least more normal than Dahl. Dummy.

But seriously, its kewl here. Super different. Big culture shock. The Spanish will come, I hope. The members keep saying it will. Man, they feed me a lot. I am never hungry. I’ve eaten it all though and don’t have a problem with it, except the bananas. I haven’t gotten sick yet either, like all the other gringos. Hoo ha! They drink a lot of Fanta.

I hate chickens, but they are everywhere here. Oh yeah! Yesterday we saw two drunk guys fighting. This place is nuts.

I’m really want to talk to the people and help Sauceda with his teaching, but I cant speak! I can barely understand! Its such a stinking barricade! Its definitely what I need most, the gift of tongues. Its impossible to get around without it.

Monday is P-Day and I get 45 mins to email. The money is weird. Its called chordos. 100 dollars is 1870 chordos, I think. Its confusing.

There are a lot of people here, and a lot more kids than in the US. The houses are small and aren’t really houses at all. Seriously. Its sad. No air conditioning anywhere but here in the email station, which is amazing right now. The heat aint so bad. Its like AZ, just less sun... surprisingly. Its a little humid, but it will get worse around march and way bad in August. Super!

Oh yeah, I lead music on Sundays too. No piano, just a cd player. And no one can sing. No one. Serious. Its crazy. I think someday I may come back and teach English and choir. Wow.

Well, yeah. Pray for me. I need it. This place is nuts, but I am glad to be here. I couldn’t imagine leaving, not with people like little Juan and his family left in the dust without the gospel. Its humbling.

Well, adios. Wish me luck and health and Spanish and stuff.

With love!
Elder Johnson

PS- you will get a kick out of this dad. There is this guy named Enye. He is missing two front teeth. But Elder Sauceda calls him Sindi, like Cindy... because sin dientes. Sin-di. hehehe!